Still Waiting

Just waiting to go home now. Since I have stopped working I have grown a beard and ressemble Zangieff from Street Fighter two, although my stomach has still a bit to go to match his.

One thing I have noticed about Japan is that makes me appreciate the value of true wealth. Sure Japan is the second richest country in the world in terms of GDP but this figure is in someways misleading. Japanese live in small cramped aparments, work for large fascist (and after working for one I dont think its an exaggeration) corporations who often pay them a pittance for double the work　（i.e the office lady). But most of all after observing the way that the cogs and wheels of this incredible society turns in motion I notice more and more that in some ways all Japanese people are enslaved, not so much in th literal classical sense but they are slaves to the wants and needs of a crushingly constrictive society that strikes out at any attempt of meaningful individualism. I see it on the faces of people every day, there is a word in Japanese "ganbatte" that often is translated as chin up or hang in there, but often the real meaning is "endure." I particularly see this on the pained face of many mothers , they endure life, they may smile but it is often painfully executed, they may laugh but it is from nervousness and anxiety. Even when I have attended formal parties for example all the mothers are desperately anxious that everything should be just right and maintain harmonious face, smiling nervously again obligating them selves to the usual Japanese rituallisaiton of events. Never mind the party stinks! Thats not important! People endure but dont enjoy life, in fact I think a lot of people dont really no how to enjoy themselves. I go to night clubs sometimes and people are dancing like theyre in a morgue bopping up un done with a slow, dull sense of ryhthm. I then proceed to do my wolffie thing (which to all that know of it will contest is like no other) and people stare at my enjoyment like I am some kind of alien (which I often am I guess.)

The whole education system is a perfect example of how you can totally miss the point in living. School kids study study study and then study study study untill late at night. I have no doubts hard work can lead to greater oppurtunities but theres no balance. They are all work and no play and quite frankly that doesnt encourage interesting and enterprising young people. It sickens me when I see young school kids coming out of a juku at 10pm on a saturday night I want to tell them to go home and piss about. In fact if there were more kids pissing about and doing other things apart from rotememorising a mass of facts (which is pretty much what education means in japan) there would be more entrepeneurs, more critical thinkers and more inventors and less anal bureaucrats who display about as much initiative and lateral thinking as a peanut (for a great account of this read miyamotos straitjacket society.) In short there would be a more self assured dynamic society.

Im sorry to moan so much, but blogging is in essence cathartic and therefore rantish, but i do think its important to talk about the negative issues facing Japan, face up　to the realities of Japan and not the crazy people country that its reduced to on Tarrants TV, or the Geisha, mysterious postcard Japan, or frenetic corporate Japan. Too often Japan and the people have been patronised ridiculed and misunderstood. Even living here to understand the country takes time to uncover and I have met people who have lived here for a long time but they live within an expat gaijin syndromed world where they live for the tatemae of Japanese life. To appreciate the honne, takes time, a hell a lot of patience and an open mind but i feel I have got to a very important stage here and feel ive learnt a lot about human beings and myself. Its good to go back now to england, see family and old friends who I have missed very much and take stock of all that has happened here and get some fresh perspective.

And enjoy the reverse culture shock!

Everythings gone slow here as I wait to go home whilst working the odd private lesson.
Twiddling my thumbs in Earnest!

I have been following the recent events in France with interest. It came as no surprise to me that this kind of thing was going to happen, it has been boiling up for a long time. So I was rather irritated by some of the media outlets that I have watched over here that they have failed to explain about the root causes of such a conflict. France is suffering from a crisis that has overlooked for a long time and has completely failed to confront. Visiting any city in France is a testamant to the schism in French society right now. I remember arriving in Montpellier for the first time and being awestruck by the gorgeous 17th century architecture of the old quarter, its sumptuous gardens and majestic opera house. However having wandered around the city, I soon discovered the suburbs and La Paillade a disgusting grim assault of concrete and grey of whose inhabitants are 100 percent north african. Any french city is a testamant to this, beautiful old city centres and hideous concrete suburbs. The contrast is enormous and reflects the feeling that
immigrants have been dumped on the periphery of french society. All nations have problems with assimilating immigrants and often certain ethnic groups have greater difficulty than others. However I can testify to how difficult it is to fit in in france from my own experiences. I have been to France over 30 times, speak french and have french ancestry and yet i found it very hard to be accepted. I personally think the the problem is that the french are bred on a diet of excessive cultural imperialism. French culture and indeed its language has been lauded as pure and almost virginal and any foreign influence is seen as a threat to its purity, it cannot diversify or evolve, french culture is french culture.

It is not surprising that french cultural imperialism has disturbing racialist and right wing overtones, which have been demonstrated with Vichy in the 1940s and the Front National today. France needs to wake up and abandon its up its own arsedness cultural pomposity.

Almost home!

So my arrival in England is now imminent, im now in the hang in there hang in there mode as i know im going home but have a month of time to kill beforehand so homesickness has suddenly incresed dramatically.

And i have left the son of satan aka NOVA from employment. I dont think I can really add to the millions of comments left on the internet by disgruntled former employees about the company. What I will say is NOVA is the worst of a bad bunch, it exemplifies all that is wrong with "corporate Japan," totally ruthless in its desire for profit and with no respect for the dignity of mankind. In short working for a big Japanese company is tantamount to corporate slavery, fewperks, long working hours, impossble to question authority. Furthermore what is often overlooked is that while many foreigners moan about eikaiwa its the Japanese staff who get the real short straw, at least we can choose our holidays and leave the office at a civilised hour. For staff they have to clench their teeth and get on with the job at hand for pay not much better than a bar tender back home.

I did get a lot out of teaching many students at nova but I think what I found disturbing was a lack of humanity and soul. I remember before my orientation I was drinking an orange juice in mcdonalds when my eye wandered and noticed there was a nova next door. I looked at mcdonalds and then I looked at Nova and then I realised they looked disarmingly similiar! I thought can hard core capitalism and teaching really work?

I was soon enlightened to this question during my training. After downing half a bottle of absinthe the night before I felt so bad that seeking refuge inside a whales bottom that had a bad case of the shits would have felt better. The day started ok as didnt have to speak much, I just focused on breathing and the art of farting by stealth. However, as it slowly dawned on me that I would actually have to teach the first 10 minutes of a lesson on my first day total panic drew in and I desperately tried to rally my survuving brains cells together. I could barely speak English that day let alone teach the bloody thing. Hands trembling, lesson fast approaching I appealed to my trainer for help. "Im sorry Paul, my brain isnt working STOP Brain cant work for much longger STOP. Anyway the calming influence he had on me worked and I entered the lesson to four gormless looking faces. Sweating profusuly and feeling I was actually going poo in my pants for the first time since i was four I started the lesson with a prepubscent sounding warcry "OOkkay leeets plaaay agameeee!!!"

I felt like a retard that day, in fact I was a retard that day, but I got through. And I continued on being a retard with or without half an bottle of absinthe in my stomach until my last day.

If any one knows of the game theme hospital workign for nova was the same. You get your buildings, buy your cubicles. A patient goes in and the doctor goes bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh. A dollar sign flashes KACHING and the patient leaves. Working for nova was exactly the same. A bell rings, you go in your manky cubicle, you go bleeeeeeeehh KACHING KACHING, bell rings, you leave. It was extremely hard to build human relationships, some of the students i taught in my last lesson i had known for over a year, yet there was no connection, when I left my last lesson it felt depressingly hollow experience.

Having said that i did meet some great ones, and have many amusing memories. Probably the most notable lesson was recently when I was teaching feelings. I was asking my students for different examples of feelings, such as happy, sad etc. One beshevelled looking doctor who had a face that looked like a used tea bag proposed that "moisty" was a most distinguished and wondurous feeling. I quickly proceeded and asked for examples of when someone might feel relieved, he promptly replied with a grin on his face "I feel relieved by my girlfriend and when I go to hong kong massage." "Thats great!!! ok how about excited?"(Thinking It could get no worse) and then when with a glint in his eye and a with a smile of disturbing geniality he uttered " I felt excited when I killed my first patient through intravenous injection."

I couldnt help myself but burst out laughing for the sheer craziness and surreality of it all.

But for me this link somes up everything, David Brent eat your heart out www.nova.ne.jp/junior/dance