JAPLISH a guide to the corruption of my English

Words I dont use any more:

"Text": Japanese phones use an email system instead of a text sytem.

"Chin:" Chinx2= willy in Japanese, it causes to much raucous behaviour if i way it to my kids. The three little pigs story is therefore not a great story to tell the children over here!

"Mobile" The american hegemony of english has affected sadly knawed at my own.

"Minger" The girls in Kumamoto are stunning, mingers are as rare here as are attractive women are in Hemel Hempstead.

"Wales" You are yet to exist in the consciousness of Japanese people, all Brits are ubiquitously referred to as Igilisu.

Words and phrases I use more:

"Case by case" This is used by Japanese people for "it depends".

"Eeeeeeehh" Sounding a bit like a retard and meaning oh really?

"Fight, Fighto" Meaning "go for it! " "up and at em!" in a competitive context.

"High Tension" Meaning bubbly and outgoing in Japanese and not a suicidal anal retentive (or maybe it does?)

"Nice Guy" Any guy who doesnt beat up their wife or girlfriend.

"Level up" Improve at something.

"Fat" If you are not anorexic or live on a diet of lettuce. (Actually i am the recipricent rather than the user of this one."

"Southpaw" Lefted handed.

"Soccer" Pronounced "Suck her" and yes it sucks that know one knows the proper word.

"Maybe I understand" I have absolutely no clue what you are saying.


But I REFUSE TO use the word beautiful to diaorheatic excesses (I hear this a lot by all nationalities of non english speakers) "Oh wow its so beautiful" "the people in this room are so beautiful" "im feeling such a beautiful things beacause of the beautifully beautiful beauty that you gave me " "these rabid donkeys are so beautiful" etc.