Expo

I have just spent the last two days at the world expo in Aichi prefecture near nagoya with my good landlord Uramoto San. The world expo is an exposition of countries from around the world and japanese corporations mascotted by two two different green coloured bogies. At times it felt like being in an enormous washing machine. However despite being spun round a lot by crowds and saying bugger 100 times after walking around and queing under the hot summer sun it was well worth it and very interesting.

The queues were ridiculous for the corporate stands so i and uramoto san trundled off to as many country stands as we could feast our eyes upon within the space of two days, during which we journeyed from Saudi Arabia to Australia with a pit stop in a ye olde japanese beer halle. The country pavillions were fascinanting in many ways not so much for their content but how they were trying to project themselves. Many countries tried to stick within the remit of the theme for this years expo (nature I believe) others however tended to project their own cultures. Some pavillons particularly from the smaller countries tended to promote the crafts and produce of their countries. Others that lack global awareness such as Bhutan and the Central Asian countries tried to promote more understanding of their cultures. The Chinese and Indian pavillons both indescreetly tried to portrary themselves as big upcoming powers in the world.

The expo hadnt avoided politics too. Whilst waiting to enter for the Korean pavillion the opposite Chinese one had been clearly shunned by many Japanese visitors. Similarily I noticed some tensions with manager and security in the Iranian pavillion.

Some countries who tried to follow the theme of the "wisdom of nature" arguably found it more difficult than others. Hollands projection as being a country in harmony with water was interesting and entertaining but how on earth can it say that when it has been trying suck all the water out of its country after a history of enduring mass flooding? Naturally also the Arabian countries focused on the wisdom of oil healthly sprucing out its bank accounts and GDP.

And what of America? Well after being pushed into in a dark room and yelled out KONNICHIWAAA and whether we were GENNNKIII ?? We were ushered into an even darker room where we watched an entertaining video presented by Sylvester Stallone sat down by a fire in a living room dressed in a smoking jacket and caressing a copy of the Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant. With the soft overtone melody of greensleeves Sly starts by giving a brief lecture on nature and how the wisdom of nature has created harmony and peace and balance to the force. He goes on how to explain he in rocky 4 through the nature and wisdom of his gluteous maximus he took down the commie scum Drago freeing the world of an era of tyranny, oppression and shoulderpads. He then explains that the wisdom of nature has selected the USA and myself to have:

"Enormous balls granting liberty and freedom to any that may encouter them."

Sly then turns into an enormous phallus shape exploding burgershaped bibles into the arms of the greatful people of "kraplakistan, the deomocratic federation of chlamidyia and France."

"God Bless America and God bless our ENORMOUS BALLS!!!

Sorry thats a load of bollocks...

Actually the American pavillion was far less entertaining it was a video of some fat geek pretending to be Benjamin Franklin looking amazed at all the modern gadgets we now have and how the wisdom of nature has inspired such technology such as fridges, TVs and anal beard electrolysis.

The UK and Mexico pavillions were my favourites as they both were entertaining, stimulating and well designed without being pretentious or hollow. I felt rather sorry for my poor companion however as he missed out on all the best bits as his eye sight is near the point of blindness.

I also had the pleasure of experiencing the phenomenon of the Japanese tour and feeling for the first time not so gaijiny. I was the only gaijin in the tour but spoke no english (except bugger) for two days so i kind of slowly merged in like milk does in soggy weetabix . Our guide met us at the airport waving a little flag and ushering us up through the escalator. Throughout the whole journey she smiled so hard and continously that I was not sure whether she was happy, sad or extremely constipated. We were also met later at the airport by a doll looking Japanese girl who talked to us on the coach about the weather and that we were going and leaving the expo over a period of 30 mins. I was relieved to have escaped the Onegaitashimashing and rattle tat tat of the sumimasening and daijobing when any thing went remotely out of control or seemed problematic. Its s started to drive me over the wall. I wish people in this country would just throw wobblies, it would be far less stressful!

One case in point: the coach was delayed by about 50 minutes because a mother had lost her daughter in the Expo. She returned double bent, red faced and sobbing softly "Minna san sumimasen, sumimasen." What terrible shame she had brought upon herself by making herself late, how terrible it was.

Did I give a damn though? No. Was it massiely inconvenient? No. Things like this are bound to happen, I was simply happy she had found her daughter.

I really detest this whole shame culture. It seems that when any error or mistake is exposed intense shame is felt. I have had so many people apologise to me about their poor english or some other trivial thing like being two minutes late (or in some cases two minutes early!) Its particularly noticeable in women, being a useful tool of keeping people in their place and controlling their actions in this very subtley stratified society.

Anyway on the way back I had the chance to marvel at the new Nagoya airport which has had so much money thrown at it that it has an onsen, an interactive global map and smartly dressed women warning you of the perils of getting off the escalators. On flying back I was knackered and passed out immeditely, contented by my enjoyable trip but also relieved to have not suffered the same fate that many weathered socks do in large and overloaded washing machines.